You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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