Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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