And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
