Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
