hotel room ftw
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
