Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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