wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
