I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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