his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
