Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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