Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
