butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
