Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
