Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
