We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
