Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
