i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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