Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
