dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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