wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
