HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
