Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
