I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
