Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Those nachos came to me in a dream
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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