Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
