College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
