No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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