Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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