Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You pole danced in your parka.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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