I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
