you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
