my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
