you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
