Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
