You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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