can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
