People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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