Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
