one two three fourrrrnication!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
