she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
