I love black thongs
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
