i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
