Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
