We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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