She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
