It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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