man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just high enough for therapy.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
