guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I skipped work to stalk him.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
