..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
