sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
