um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
